What To Do When A Stranger is Trying to Touch You Inappropriately And Making You Uncomfortable.

In simple words, TRYING TO MOLEST YOU... Before this, my stance was that it is not 'that' bad place for girls. Because I most...

In simple words, TRYING TO MOLEST YOU...



Before this, my stance was that it is not 'that' bad place for girls. Because I mostly travel to different states, explore new cultures which although my parents don't approve of but I feel proud and brave at the same time.
Hey! Hey, I remember that was smooth because you had your trusted group of friends and cousins along with you.

The story goes like this-

I booked a tatkal train ticket. But what! did just happen.. it was available and now WL 52.
At last, it did not get confirmed. Even bus tickets were getting filled fast. So I booked a ticket in a so-called 'Mercedes' which usually comes 1 hour late. This time 2 hours.
Private buses are like that here!
Oh, I missed one important part of the story- I had booked the last seat on the rear axle of the bus because of the unavailability of tickets. I book these Mercedes buses which have the same rate or even costlier than the train tickets because they are comfortable. I used to prefer the bus to a train because there is so much of hassle and noise in the 3A train compartment.
I used to get a seat in the front probably with a lady passenger, no matter what seat I have booked online. This was the first time I got to sit on my 'booked seat'. Maybe it was the day- a 'bad' night.

It was all good till when a few transgenders got into our bus. The bus, despite being full, the driver didn't start it. I was discussing with the fellow passengers that maybe it is all planned. They work in a team. The transgenders were not in a mood to leave anybody without paying them. They started beating their chest and cursing people with bad names and what not! I mean you are asking for their money. If the other person does not want to give you, who has given you the right to utter bad words. Isn't other person's freedom curbed here. Won't one feel attacked? They claim to be oppressed but what are they doing now? A big question here...
One guy gave 20 bucks but she was not accepting it and saying this will happen to you and your children. He got scared and offered 200 something to which she thought it to be Rs 20/- note only and gave it back, that was a funny scene.

Finally, the bus started with a loud slogan for MATA RANI...

Bol Saache darbar ki Jai!!


The bus was bound for Katra via Jammu.

I met a fellow Kashmiri Muslim guy, very decent and we became friends. By the way, let me tell you I am a Kashmiri Pandit. There is so-called rift created between the people of both the religions by some anti-social group. We were talking about that and beautiful Kashmir. He invited me to his place and promised me that he will show me the entire valley, which would have been my homeplace had not there 1990 Kashmiri pandit mass migration.

We had our dinner together at the Dhaba and then the final ice cream too. The bus started and it was time to go to sleep. The movie tiger zinda hai was playing at the LCD. But it was of no use when you are sitting in the last seat.
Also an update I was sitting with 4 other men on the last seat and me, being the brave girl does not mind that. There was this one jolly man sitting with us on the last seat cracking jokes along the group of 4 friends making fun of this mercedes bus, driver and so on. He had got a LCD TV with him may be he was going to home. Some checker didn't let our bus move he wanted a token from him. He went down, along with him went the group of 4 friends too to support him. He finally went away without spending anything. This jolly person exchanged the seat with a person who was sitting besides me on the window seat. For your information, the last seat in a bus has total 5 seats. I was sitting on the 2nd, Kashmiri guy in the middle and the cool uncle besides him (later on my side near the window)

We went to sleep. I prefer sleeping so that I don't have to waste my time next day sleeping at home. It was around 1 AM I felt something touched my left leg. It was different.
You know what there is a saying there is a sixth sense in women. and thats not a lie!

That sixth sense is nothing but the sense that can recognize the motive and the difference between right touch and not so right one! I opened my phone's torch and tried to see what touching my leg saying it loud, whats there?? I thought it is some part of the bus or a bag. But I didn't feel good about it. I ignored it. I was awake now, with my eyes closed. So that I can clearly understand what is happening around.

Time-2:00 AM
I felt something rubbing against my arm I kept still, just to see if I am right or wrong because I did not want to raise a false alarm.

But you know what is the worse part, you have to wait and see when all that is happening.

I moved towards my right where the Kashmiri Muslim guy was sitting, I sat more towards his side. Though I would have maintained a distance, had I had an option.
In a matter of 5 minutes, the guy stretched his hand and hept touching my hip area slightly and slowly. That just had anough of me!!!
What the heck, man ! what pleasure are you seeking this way you pervert!!

And dear friends,

He, the ch**iya I want to address him with this name, was none other than the coolest uncle BC.. who will appear an educated and happy go lucky man to you at first sight.
I was having a rush of thoughts inside my mind. What should I do? Though I also knew had I raised a loud alarm, people will listen to me and not ignore. But it was my fight I did not want to involve others. And what if he denied by saying you are wrong, my intentions were not bad. I was just sleeping I did not know where my hand was.
I have not done this before. We have always protected from this by our parents, friends and somehow avoid such situations.

So to anybody's question on my dressing-
I was wearing completely ethnic full sleeves salwar suit.

I warned him-
My words were- "Excuse me!! You hand is touching me..."

He was guilty he knew it. No sorry nothing, he just took away his hand. Had it been a mistake, he would have addressed it in that manner!
It cemented my doubts. Just this much strength only but he did not gather the strength to touch me again.
I stay awake thereafter I did not want to let him touch even my cloth too. I stayed cautious. I didn't change my seat also, though I badly wanted to, Just because I did not want to involve others at first and handle it myself. I wanted to see the audacity of this cheap guy in a fully crowded bus with ladies of different age groups- old, young, mid-aged and minors. The whole journey of next 9 hours was a headache for me. I was full of wrath. How dare he touched me with pervert thoughts!!

It was not about the touch, but the 'authority' with which a man thinks he has on the other gender.

I can just imagine the plight of those girls, who didn't have the strength or don't get the support of their family.
The plight of rape victims in unimaginable. The daily molestations that happen are no way closer to rape. It is not about the penetration but the killing of one's inner happiness, freedom and peace. Who gave them the right? Imagine that man was going to get the blessings of Mata rani. I wish his hands get chopped off someday. I do not think his relatives' children are safe when he is around and God knows how many innocent kids he must have molested this way before.

That Kashmiri guy was an angel for me that night. He was not comfortable in his seat. He kept me company and we talked throughout the night. Even when I am not a night person. I am an introvert but I heard his side of stories.

This was my first time. We have such molestations when we travel in crowded places and autos, I remember one incident when I was in college where I preferred to get down early from the shared auto.

Not every cool person is good and not every Muslim guy is bad :)

Girls, please speak up. If you cannot talk to your parents or friends, we have the powerful tool called internet these days. Maybe we can help someone somewhere out there.

I would just advice..even if you are physically weak

NOBODY CAN STOP YOU FROM RAISING AN ALARM, JUST SPEAK UP.

TELL THEM 'NO'

A smart one will get his piece of hint that he needs to stop.
And if some rogues are harassing you, please talk to your parents or friends or anybody you confront in be it us.
I am attaching a link where you can know about your rights against sexual harassment. But one thing that really bothers me is the efficiency of the system. We came across so many instances on the news channel and also out of 100 only 1 case gets hyped because of the seriousness involved, and others just go unnoticed. I have closely seen a few cases where police have acted very swiftly and also where they made the victim feel powerless.

My request to the lawmakers is-

1. There are enough laws we just need to enforce them strictly.

2. Foreign countries have strict rules of stalking. Even a minor can register an FIR against you if he/she feels threatened by your presence.

We need such laws here too. People like us lack awareness, The laws are there in the books only. We did not know about it because the news channels are busy showing repeat telecast of saas-bahu dramas.
Nobody is bothered making people more vigilant and aware of their rights. People come to know only when something happens. Oh, we have this law too.

Does anybody have the solution to making people aware of their rights?

2 comments

  1. You should have raised an alarm. Would have served that pervert right.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for the suggestion. But it is not as easy as it seems for all. Some are introvert in nature.
      And in this case, it was midnight, as she mentioned she was skeptical about bothering others and so many thoughts were running in her mind at that time.
      Secondly, A few days only a man tried to touch me inappropriately, you are getting late for office, you are on the run! how many times are you going to stop and fight there with the bunch of perverts who won't be affected with just a warning anyway...you just feel bad for yourself and try to be more cautious from next time onwards..

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